I Live Where?

So many of the blogs I read have the little thingy on the side that tells where the visitors are from. So far today I've been from Aurora, CO ... Lakewood, CO ... Littleton, CO ... and Broomfield, CO ... all of which are NOT WHERE I LIVE. It's not like I'm using a wireless hookup and picking up on someone else's signal. Bizarre.

Shhhh ... What Was That?

About two or three weeks ago I woke up at about 3 or so in the morning. I couldn't go back to sleep. Tossing and turning, I finally got out of bed and decided I'd get some household chores done before going to work.

The chore of my choice? Laundry. Doesn't sound like a big deal ... except we don't have a dryer. We hang all our clothes on the line to dry. So, there I was, in the pitch black darkness of the woods, hanging clothes up to dry. I took the dog out with me, and had him tethered right by me.

Anytime I go out in the early morning hours like that, my ears are very attuned to EVERY LITTLE SOUND. I'm always afraid a Mt. Lion will shoot out of the darkness and try to eat me. This isn't paranoia, this is reality. We have cat attacks on occasion up here, and dogs get picked off like Happy Meals for wild life.

So, there i was, hanging clothes on the line ... SNAP!! I swear I heard a twig break in the darkness. It could be a deer, an elk, or a mt. lion. I freeze, ears pricked ... silence. Nothing. I get back to my chore. Then I hear it ... the very distinct scream of an elk ... screaming, not bugling happily. And it kept screaming ... on and on and on. I grab the basket of clothes and the dog ... and RUN into the house.

Panicking, I wake up my s/o. I explain the whole story, and show her my hands ... they're shaking out of control!! Then, for some reason, I feel like I still need to finish hanging out the clothes. So I ask her to come with me so I won't be alone. She drags herself out of bed to go out with me ... the screaming silenced now ... and explains to me that if an elk was just taken down by a cat, the cat's too busy to be interested in me.

Thanks, honey.

THEN ... last night I got sucked into watching Monster Quest on the History Channel. They had back to back episodes about ... Bigfoot. Of course, one of the episodes goes on and on about how there have been Bigfoot sightings galore in ... COLORADO. They speculate that, since we have the largest elk population in the world, Bigfoot hunts elk ...

The question is ... Would I rather know that it was a cat ... or Bigfoot? I'll never know what happened ... and it probably was a cougar ... but that darned ol' imagination of mine is going CRAZY!!!

Mother's Day

I am a glutton for punishment, I believe. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to have my mom here for three days to celebrate Mother's Day. I will never do that again!!!

My mother and I do not have a good relationship ... some might even call what I feel "hate" ... I don't know what it is ... I just know that I can't control how I feel and most of our interactions are out of a feeling of obligation on my end.

I want her to leave ... now!!!

Only a few more hours, and I shall be free!!!

Ask The EGGspert

I had a conversation with a friend about eggs. I was telling her how I prefer to buy eggs that come from hens that aren't caged, etc. The problem, for me, is that it's hard to figure out which ones are truly "free range" and which ones aren't technically in cages, but are crammed into tiny rooms with other hens.

Somehow that led to fertilized eggs. I told her I don't buy them because I don't know if the hen and rooster actually "do the deed", or if they've managed a way to commercially inseminate a bunch of hens.

My friend then said ... I swear she really said this ... "Chickens don't have sex, the hen lays the eggs and then the rooster comes and squirts on all the eggs. They're just like frogs, they produce eggs regardless."

What?!?!?

Yes, they lay eggs regardless ... but where the hell does she get her information?? I understand the logic that made her come up with the idea ... but, she spoke with such authority. Like she was the expert! Yeah ...