Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Tis the Season to be Whiny

I've already begun to notice the large number of folk who are stressed out, grumpy and whiny due to the holiday season. How about this ... Rather than feeling sorry for yourself because 1) you have so many gifts to buy, 2) so and so might get you a stupid gift, 3) you have to see family you hate, 4) you have to fight the crowds 5) whatever I may have missed that irks you so ...
Instead of all that crap ... remember all of that is a luxury. There is a large portion of the world that has no fresh water ... EVER!!! Also, many folks have no idea what it feels like to have a full belly ... and they worry that their children will die of starvation before their first birthday. So, bask in the luxury of your being allowed to be whiny! Embrace your spoiled ways ... take a deep breath and realize you CHOOSE to be an a-hole ... while many go without.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

A Nation of Gluttony

Yesterday, as I stood in an amazingly long line waiting to purchase so salad greens and a birthday card, I was struck with the realization that I live in a nation full of thankless gluttons. So, let's all remember this Thursday to give thanks for being able to spend on one meal what could feed a large, starving family for a long time. Let's give thanks that we can throw most of the leftovers away, without a care. Let's give thanks that we can all live with our heads up our asses, if we so choose. Then, one day, if it's not so wonderful over here any more, let's give thanks that we can wonder why no one else in the world will seem to care.

Friday, November 16, 2007

I Suck!

So, it's day 1 of my commitment to not read annoying blogs. What was the FIRST thing I did when I logged onto the 'puter today? Sigh ... read a notoriously annoying person's blog. Will I ever learn? Oh well, tomorrow is another day!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Time and Time Again

Why, oh why, do I keep going back to the blogs that annoy me? If they annoy me so, doesn't it stand to reason that I would stay away? Oh no, not I. That really annoys me with myself. Yes, I read, judge and focus on your whining ... but I could avoid all of this if I would just stay away. Sigh ... I will try ... tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Little Liar

Wow!! It's amazing how people will lie in order to get appreciation from strangers on the web! An individual that I know personally (in the real world) has recently posted a couple of times and, from the stuff I've read, she is full of crap! She has blatant lies and deliberate misinformation about herself. All for acceptance in a "virtual reality". It would be sad, if it weren't so disgusting.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Can It Be Winter Already?

It's mid-November. It was in the 60's today, and I live in the mountains. WTF?!?! It should be cold and all that jazz ... bring on the season!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Hello! It's Your Fault!

What is it with people who complain about things that are their own fault? Rather than putting all that energy into whining, fix the problem! If you hurt because you aren't healthy, then work on your health or shut up. If you have some icky bowel syndrome that you know clears up when you clean up your diet, then clean up your diet or shut up! If you're always exhausted because you never physically move and then you are upset because you are too tired to do anything, move more and it will get easier, or shut up!
It's totally within your rights to not fix your issues and to feel sorry for yourself because you feel overwhelmed by the problems you created. However, do you really think that you have a license to whine when you have it within your power to solve the problems and you choose not to? Perhaps what's really going on is that you thrive on victimhood. Let me guess ... your inner strength is tapped out because you scraped your knee when you were 4 and your mommy didn't kiss it, or some crap like that. Get the hell over it! Life goes on and life isn't for the weak. If you are really that weak, keep in mind there are other options.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

I Have a Life

So, I took a stab at "NaBloPoMo". It's this thing where you blog everyday for a full month. The link is off to the right of my page somewhere. Anyway, I failed to post yesterday because, unlike a large number of the other participants, I have a life. Sometimes this requires me to not be on my butt in front of the computer. So, in short, I don't feel sorry for failing because it was a real life that got in the way. Someday, perhaps you can have one too!

Friday, November 9, 2007

Father Time and You

There are a couple of blogs that I read where the people don't do anything. Okay, I guess they do some things. They do arts and crafts, they sit around, they whine about pains (both physical and mental), and they brood in such a way as to get strangers from the blogosphere to stroke them and tell them they are brilliant, not to push themselves, they have a right to be slothful and useless.
It seems to be a theme that they are all whining about the time change. With the shorter days they just can't get anything done. Umm, okay. How exactly does the earlier darkness prevent you from sleeping until noon, surfing the 'net for a few hours, blogging, playing with your crafty toys and taking up useful space on the planet?
I can see the future posts now ... they'll all be thrown into an even deeper depression because they all suffer from S.A.D. Just you wait and see.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Watch for Falling ... Cows?!?!

A couple is driving down the road, minding their own business when ... WHAM!!! A cow falls onto their car. Evidently "Bessie" (or so I've named her ...) wandered 5 miles away from home. Being lost drove her to suicide ... she leapt to her death from a 200 ft. cliff ... only to survive by landing on the hood of a mini-van. She was euthanized later due to injuries ... if only they'd be so kind to suffering humans. You can read about it here ---> Cow plunges off cliff onto moving minivan

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

He's Supposed to do That!

So, I see this guy walking his dog along the lake near my house. Every time the dog wants to stop and smell something, he yanks on the leash and says, "no!" So, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't people walk their dogs so that they can smell things? At the rate they were going, the dog would have to crap while actively walking. He's a dog, he's supposed to sniff things!! That's how his brain is wired! If you can't take the time to let him be a dog, then don't have a dog!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Love Is Not Duct Tape!

Over the past few days I've begun to notice a theme in a handful of blogs that I read on occasion. It seems that a lot of people are of the belief that if you face the world armed with love, all problems will be solved. So, in order to disprove this theory, I've decided to test this in a very scientific matter.

  1. Since I am an avid anti-George Bush type of person, I was wondering what would happen if I sent him a letter telling him I love him? Would he immediately resign because of my love?
  2. When the monthly bills roll in, rather than paying them, I'm going to call each company and profess my love. I'm sure this will ensure my utilities never get shut off.
  3. Next time I go grocery shopping, I will fill my cart and go straight to my car without paying. If someone stops me, I will hug him/her and say, "I Love You!"

If all the people are right about how love solves all problems, well then I should be okay in each of these scenarios and I will promptly put a thick coat of love on any problems I have. This could be the next rage. Right up there with duct tape. If, on the other hand, I still have to hand over monetary compensation for goods and services, well then I guess you fluffy-bunny, mamby pamby people better get up off your lazy arses and do something REAL for a change.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Not You Again

So, this Saturday night I had an event to attend that, lo and behold, the person I ran into the previous Saturday was there. It was obvious she didn't get the hint last weekend, but I'm sure the message was driven home this time. She said something along the lines of a greeting on three separate occasions. I completely ignored her and did not make one bit of eye contact on three separate occasions.

At the end of the night, she approached my girlfriend and spoke with her. My girlfriend is not as cold blooded as I, I suppose. She was courteous to her and had some general "how are you doing" type conversation. I walked up to them and spoke directly to my counterpart, and walked away again, all without acknowledging the existence of said worthless lump.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

More Coffee Please, and My Eggs!!

I went to breakfast this morning and had a cup of coffee and huevos rancheros. I specified that I wanted my eggs soft basted. The first time I got 'em over hard. No, no, no, no, no. I choked down half my meal with the eggs pushed to the side before I finally got the server's attention. She brought me two more eggs. These were basted alright. Basted HARD!!! She never came back to find out that I hated them. Also, I needed more coffee. No can do. Finally, when it was apparent that I was done trying to eat, she came over and asked if all was okay. I told her no and that I wanted my bill. She offered to discount my meal. Once again, I told her no. It's not her fault the idiot cooks don't know how to baste a frickin' egg!!!!

In spite of her crappy service, I tipped her 30%. Why? Because she is so bad that I'm sure she has trouble getting her bills paid.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Bring on the Hormones!

The next time you feel the need to throw your smoldering cigarette butt out the window of your car, you'd better be damn sure that it's not around here. I hereby swear to put my car in park, get out, retrieve your butt and throw it back into your car @$$h0!e. Of course, it should go without saying that this is dependent on the fact that we'll be sitting at a stop light.

Friday, November 2, 2007

News Flash!! It's Not All About You!!!

So, amongst the blogs I regularly read, a person has experienced a great loss. Also amongst the blogs I read are a few opportunists who have skillfully managed to turn this loss into another whiny story about loss they experienced 20+ years ago!!! WTF people?!?!? Even I have more couth than you.

Thursday, November 1, 2007


I don't know about you, but I don't need to hear my bagger at the local grocery store bragging about his sexual escapades at a party last night. I'm just sayin'.