I Live Where?

So many of the blogs I read have the little thingy on the side that tells where the visitors are from. So far today I've been from Aurora, CO ... Lakewood, CO ... Littleton, CO ... and Broomfield, CO ... all of which are NOT WHERE I LIVE. It's not like I'm using a wireless hookup and picking up on someone else's signal. Bizarre.

Shhhh ... What Was That?

About two or three weeks ago I woke up at about 3 or so in the morning. I couldn't go back to sleep. Tossing and turning, I finally got out of bed and decided I'd get some household chores done before going to work.

The chore of my choice? Laundry. Doesn't sound like a big deal ... except we don't have a dryer. We hang all our clothes on the line to dry. So, there I was, in the pitch black darkness of the woods, hanging clothes up to dry. I took the dog out with me, and had him tethered right by me.

Anytime I go out in the early morning hours like that, my ears are very attuned to EVERY LITTLE SOUND. I'm always afraid a Mt. Lion will shoot out of the darkness and try to eat me. This isn't paranoia, this is reality. We have cat attacks on occasion up here, and dogs get picked off like Happy Meals for wild life.

So, there i was, hanging clothes on the line ... SNAP!! I swear I heard a twig break in the darkness. It could be a deer, an elk, or a mt. lion. I freeze, ears pricked ... silence. Nothing. I get back to my chore. Then I hear it ... the very distinct scream of an elk ... screaming, not bugling happily. And it kept screaming ... on and on and on. I grab the basket of clothes and the dog ... and RUN into the house.

Panicking, I wake up my s/o. I explain the whole story, and show her my hands ... they're shaking out of control!! Then, for some reason, I feel like I still need to finish hanging out the clothes. So I ask her to come with me so I won't be alone. She drags herself out of bed to go out with me ... the screaming silenced now ... and explains to me that if an elk was just taken down by a cat, the cat's too busy to be interested in me.

Thanks, honey.

THEN ... last night I got sucked into watching Monster Quest on the History Channel. They had back to back episodes about ... Bigfoot. Of course, one of the episodes goes on and on about how there have been Bigfoot sightings galore in ... COLORADO. They speculate that, since we have the largest elk population in the world, Bigfoot hunts elk ...

The question is ... Would I rather know that it was a cat ... or Bigfoot? I'll never know what happened ... and it probably was a cougar ... but that darned ol' imagination of mine is going CRAZY!!!

Mother's Day

I am a glutton for punishment, I believe. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to have my mom here for three days to celebrate Mother's Day. I will never do that again!!!

My mother and I do not have a good relationship ... some might even call what I feel "hate" ... I don't know what it is ... I just know that I can't control how I feel and most of our interactions are out of a feeling of obligation on my end.

I want her to leave ... now!!!

Only a few more hours, and I shall be free!!!

Ask The EGGspert

I had a conversation with a friend about eggs. I was telling her how I prefer to buy eggs that come from hens that aren't caged, etc. The problem, for me, is that it's hard to figure out which ones are truly "free range" and which ones aren't technically in cages, but are crammed into tiny rooms with other hens.

Somehow that led to fertilized eggs. I told her I don't buy them because I don't know if the hen and rooster actually "do the deed", or if they've managed a way to commercially inseminate a bunch of hens.

My friend then said ... I swear she really said this ... "Chickens don't have sex, the hen lays the eggs and then the rooster comes and squirts on all the eggs. They're just like frogs, they produce eggs regardless."

What?!?!?

Yes, they lay eggs regardless ... but where the hell does she get her information?? I understand the logic that made her come up with the idea ... but, she spoke with such authority. Like she was the expert! Yeah ...

Why Bother?

I'm awake. It's 3:52 a.m. I've been awake for just over an hour. Why? Because I'm stressing about all the crap I have to do at work. I'm behind because my computer is having some issues and the IT department is supposedly "working on it" ... yeah, right.

It's been two whole days wasted ... ugh!!! The result? I have insomnia because some jerk isn't doing his job!!!

Yesterday morning I sent them an email that said something along the lines of, "I still can't open any word docs, print, use Jenark, or Docuware. I understand you are working on it, but can you give me an approximate timeline in which this problem will be resolved?"

Their response? Oh, you'll love this one ...

"When I figure out the problem, I will contact you for resolution."

WTF??? I'm going to start telling all my clients that when they inquire about when something will be done ... "When I do it." Yeah, that'll go over well.

Firewood, Anyone?

Last weekend we got 36.8" of snow here. As a result, we now have a 60 foot plus tree laying down in our yard. Today I shall go out and begin cutting it up. It never broke at the base, it just leaned over and laid down. During the storm, I went out and knocked snow off it, hoping it would stand up again ... but it did not.

As long as the batteries are still good in the camera, I should be able to get some good shots of the tree to post. I'm not certain anyone wants to see the "progress" I make today, as I don't have a proper saw ... thank goodness the trunk isn't too awful thick. We shall see.

Angry At The Universe

I'm having one of the worst weeks ever! Saturday the 11th of April, my s/o's ex tried to have me subpoenaed ... but I didn't answer the door. Thursday night, the 16th of April, my toy poodle died. He had Addison's disease and went into "Addison's shock". He was at the vet all day on Thursday, and died at home that night. We had a blizzard beginning Friday morning, the 17th. We got snowed in AND had a black out that lasted almost 24 hours. Monday, the 20th was the court date for my s/o to fight the appeal of her ex husband who wants more alimony ... he won. She has to continue paying the deadbeat for another year, at which point I am sure he will appeal again!!

That's all. Isn't it enough? I dare not ask, "What could possibly happen next?" I don't want to know. Hopefully this is our run of shitty luck for the next long while.

But for now, I hate the universe.

Seether

Yup, that's me ... the Seether. I have been so pissed off all weekend, I'm spitting nails!! Seeing as how I can't legally get married in my state, why in the hell can they drag my finances into factoring whether or not she can afford to make alimony payments?!?!?! I wish all the ill will in the universe on loser asshole and his attorney.

Did I mention this is his SECOND appeal?!?!! Yeah, because the first time he lost ... he is like a two year old who feels the world owes him something. He throws tantrums until he gets his way. Fuck off, asshole!!

Irksome

My s/o pays alimony to her ex-husband. She pays him around $800.00 a month. This has been going on for five years. Last November was supposed to be her final payment to him ... we were stoked!! BUT ... he filed an appeal, and the court has made her continue to pay him until the court date. That date is April 20, 2009.

Yesterday he tried to have me served a subpoena. He may have been successful, I have no idea. Some man came to the house, we didn't answer the door, but he left the paperwork on the porch. I never touched it, left it out in the rain ... but, in all honesty, I probably am considered "served".

This is ridiculous!! I think after 5 years of payments, this should be over!!

This is the source of my stress and anger today.

MIA

Wow, it's been quite a while since I've posted. So much has happened, I have no idea where to start. I know I'll never get it all into one post anyway, so I guess it doesn't really matter.

My dog's tumor was benign, so all was good in that department. Then, shortly after that ordeal, he became lethargic. I don't mean to say he was low on energy, I mean to say he down-right had NO energy. When I would take him outside to go potty, he would sit down and lean his head against a tree. He had no desire to do ANYTHING ... eat, drink, walk, play ... nothing but sleep.

I took him to the vet where they ran the gamut of tests, and couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. Finally, my vet had a last resort idea ... he was right. It turns out that the little guy has Addison's disease. His kidneys don't make adrenaline, hence the missing energy. So now he gets hormone treatment once a month, and he takes prednisone twice a week.

I am so thankful for my vet, he is so reasonable on prices. He's only making me pay for the injections, he's giving me free prednisone, and not charging for office visits. This isn't a new thing for him either, he's always been so affordable, and good. I found him via a referral 15 years ago, and haven't used another vet since!!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!!

Then, about two weeks ago, my larger dog bit the smaller dog because of a jelly bean under the living room chair. The result was the poodle ended up with a punctured lip, a missing tooth, and an almost comatose state because of his lack of adrenaline. More vet time, more treatment, but he's all better now ... again ...

Pack Rat

It's been a good year so far. What are we, like 11 days into the new year? Well, that's 11 days that I haven't screwed up the year. My dog who had the tumor removed is healing up rather nicely. The vet didn't call me last week with the biopsy results, so I'm going to call him first thing tomorrow. Other than that, all is well in Whinerville!

I've decided to make a New Year's resolution for this blog. I vow to use my camera and post pics of stuff. There is this garage I pass on a daily basis on my way to work that, every time I see it, I think, "I have got to take a picture of that and blog about it!" Have I? No ... but I will! My phone doesn't take the absolute best pictures in the world, so I'm going to start carrying the camera around with me. Stay tuned to see if it gets exciting!

Yesterday we went "down the mountain" to visit a friend. Every time we go to this particular house, I have trouble focusing on the visit because I am distracted by the mess. This woman is a total pack rat. She has stuff piled everywhere. You have to literally walk between the stacks of horded stuff in order to get around in her house!

Her boyfriend's lease just expired and he's staying there temporarily. She's pissed and hurt because he won't move in, and they've been together 5 years or so. He has told her repeatedly that he can't permanently live in those conditions, that she has got to get rid of stuff. But she doesn't.

Now, I've heard that this is a mental illness. My mother used to have a friend just like this. I've read about it on the web. it's frickin' insane!! I mean, these types of people throw nothing away ... at all. Newspapers, boxes and boxes of stuff that will be used "some day." I don't even know what type of treatment is available for this disease, but she needs it! Her hoarding has filled every room, including the basement and the garage.

I mean, when my house starts to get messy, I get cranky and things just don't feel good. When the house is clean, it feels good to come home. It feels good to wake up and walk through a clean house. I imagine this friend of mine hasn't had that experience in about, oh ... 19 or 20 years! No exaggeration ... sigh. It kinda puts it all into perspective, when my house is messy, at least it doesn't require a dumpster be parked out front and 50 trips to the Goodwill!

My Voice is Famous!!

Okay, well, maybe not so much. However, my friend Mike, the one who I was the Best Man in his wedding ... he does an on line comic based on his life. I went to his house on New Year's Eve and we recorded the whole evening (vocals only!) and he has snipped and edited, and now I am on his latest "episode". Check it out here.

Sick Puppy

I know I've been scarce as of late, but who hasn't? Busy time of year for most, I'm certain. Right now things are pretty low key in the household because our smallest dog, Butchie, just had two tumors removed and he's recovering. He's at that age now ... hopefully when the biopsy results come back, we will find them both benign and just resolve ourselves to living with a lumpy old dog. Either way, the recovery ain't fun and games. He has a bazillion stitches on his chest where his left leg starts and only about a million on his left hind leg.

My s/o's mother came to visit Christmas week. Shoot me in the head, please!!! She brought her two dogs, who peed in the house about seven times!!! Her dogs also terrorized our cats for five glorious days. The woman would not discipline her dogs!!! So frustrating!!! I am not exaggerating when I describe her discipline ... for each offense, the dogs got spoken to in baby talk as follows: "No, no pee pees", and "No, no kee kee" ... ummm, what the hell?!?!!

She's gone now, but she's taken some of my sanity with her.

The Source of My Frustrations

Here I am at work. My boss is on vacation. Actually, most of the people that work here are on vacation. I kinda like working without people milling about. It sure makes it a ton easier to get stuff accomplished, that's for sure. Also, my phone has been quiet all morning. It's almost lunch time. I've got no complaints ... about today.

Never fear! Just because I am happy today, doesn't mean that there's nothing wrong in the world. Let me just rattle off a few things that have pissed me off in the past week or so:

1) The jerk who was flashing his lights in my rear view mirror to get me to speed up ... in spite of the fact that someone was in front of me. When he finally passed me, he had a bumper sticker proclaiming that "Peace is the only way" ...

2) My mother insisting that I have a yeast allergy because .... (drum roll please) ... I had a sore throat and nasal congestion! Um, hello!!! It was a COLD!!!!

3) My mother thinking it's ridiculous that a coworker of hers is taking the month of January off because she is adopting a five year old child whose parents were both killed. I told her I thought it was a valid reason to take a month off, especially due to the fact that the kid is probably traumatized as it is. Her response? "It can't be fixed in a month, it'll take therapy for the rest of his life. What good is one month going to do?" I swear ...

4) My mother ... well, notice the pattern here?

My mother:

My mother is certifiable. I don't mean this in the funny way, I truly mean it. It drives me nuts!! I mean, she believed at one point that when she was pregnant with me there were twins. One was abducted by aliens ... and now I have a twin sister in space. Yeah.

She believes she is a prophet. A voice speaks to her in her head at night. It tells her what to do. She does it. It's only a matter of time before it tells her to do something illegal. I'm certain of it. There is no way for me to prove this to anyone so that I can have her committed. Yeah.

She believes you can activate dormant DNA just by wishing it. For example; since I've had ancestors with brown eyes, I can change the color of my eyes ... by sheer will power! Yeah.

She believes she is sane. Yeah.

She believes that I have every new allergy or disease that is discovered. Yeah.

She ... well, she's crazy.

People don't always believe me ... until they meet her. Then they know. Then, when at a party I say, "My mother ..." ears prick up and everyone wants to hear the latest. Yeah.

Blech

I am not certain of what, exactly, this post is going to be about. It may lead nowhere. I have insomnia, I've been up since 2:00 a.m. and the alarm will be going off in 25 minutes. That sucks ass. It especially sucks because I have a very important meeting at work this morning at 11 that I am not 100% prepared for ... I was planning on doing some major prep this morning when I get into work ... but now, I'm not going to be on my "A" game. Hopefully I can at least be on my "B" game!

It's December. I live in fucking Colorado, but I've yet to see a snow that's more than a dusting. It's especially bizarre because I live in the mountains. The super-duper high mountains have seen snow, or so I've heard ... but the shorter ones have not. This makes me cranky. If I have to endure never being home in the daylight hours because it's winter, then please at least let me see some snow. Of all the things to bitch about ... insomnia justifies everything!

I lost my cell phone over Thanksgiving weekend. I am ashamed to admit that I am one of those dumb asses who has stored all my phone numbers in there, and I don't have a hard copy anywhere. So, there are some people who I may never speak to again, because I don't have their numbers. Of course, I suppose they could call me ... but I know a couple just have my cell phone programmed in their work issued cells, and with the economy in the toilet, well if their jobs are lost ... there goes our contact. Whatever.

I think I boggled the shit out of my boss yesterday. He came into my office and sat down. He then blathered on about how the economy is in the toilet, and aren't I happy I have this job? I looked him straight in the eye and said, "A well paying job is a luxury, not a necessity. If I didn't have this job, I'd still be okay." The look on his face was complete confusion. It was obvious that he totally did not grasp the concept. I feel sorry for him. It was a true statement I made. It's kind of empowering to realize that. Ugh, there's that word ... "empowering"!

I hate that word because it's so overused these days. Especially by those who choose to play the constant victim in day to day life. I've known a few in my days ... victims, that is. The ones that especially irritate me are the ones who use the fact that something bad happened 30 years ago, so now they HAVE to be dysfunctional. When a certain amount of time passes after an experience, it becomes a CHOICE to be a victim. If kids teased you in elementary school for some thing that kids tease about ... when 30 plus years pass ... get the fuck over it!! Seriously.

Ooh, I hear the coffee maker. It just kicked on. Soon I will be full of caffeine. So, I will end this rant about ... well, everything. I hope I survive the day with my sanity in tact.

National Gluttony Day

Today is called "Thanksgiving", but in my experience, people aren't usually thankful for anything on this day. This is the day that most people who are able shovel as much food into their mouths as possible. This is yet one more day that people should be ashamed of themselves.

Once upon a time I worked in a grocery store. I remember the day before Thanksgiving was one of the busiest days of the year. I also remember people spending hundreds of dollars on the food for one meal. I think the record was one lady who spent $800. Can you believe that shit? People buying and preparing so much food and most of it ends up getting thrown out from going bad in the fridge at a later date.

Later today I will be going to my mother's home to celebrate this day. We don't eat the traditional turkey meal. Our tradition is to prepare food from different cultures. Two years ago we did Middle Eastern food, last year my step father insisted on a stupid turkey and it was a flop, this year we are preparing Indian food. We will have tika masala served over jasmine rice, saag paneer, and naan with mint chutney. For desert we will be having white pumpkin pudding with saffron.

This meal for four people would have cost less than $100. I must admit I felt smug about it. Then my mother started freaking out in the grocery store about the fact that she thought we didn't have enough food. She started going on and on about how we needed appetizers; that we needed to have food to graze on all day because that is what is traditional!! I practically screamed at her in the store, "That's an American custom mother!! Gluttony is not a tradition to be proud of!!"

Needless to say, this turned a lot of heads our way. People actually glared at me. Not at my mother for wanting to succumb to the stupid tradition. So, in a huff, I marched off and bought her some more food. Appetizers. Things to fill her up before meal time. Things to make her feel safe in a worthless, shameful tradition. Today I am truly thankful for being capable of having enough food to feed a family of four in another part of the world for more than a week, but I am ashamed that we will try to eat it all in one day. Sigh ...

Park This, Bitch!

So, I get into my car the other day to head to work. It's still dark when I leave home these days, what with the stupid time change and all. I come home from work, once again in the dark. This goes on for a few days. Then, I decide I need to go out to lunch. You know, actually leave the office to go somewhere ... away. When I approach my car I notice a nice, huge-ass dent in the driver side door!!

Now, I'm not talking about a small door ding. Nope!! It's a big frickin' dent! This pisses me off for three reasons:

1) What the fuck is wrong with people that they don't leave a damn note when they fuck up your car? It's obvious their car also incurred some damage ... I'm sure they'll file a claim and say it happened when they weren't around. Either that or they don't have insurance.

2) When and where the hell did this happen?? My awake in the daylight hours are all spent in a damn building!! All my free time during the week occurs IN THE DARK!!!

3) Why am I so upset? It's just a damn car! It still works fine and I feel like a shallow bitch for giving a damn about having a dent in my door when some people don't even know where their next meal is coming from!! Meanwhile ... here I sit feeling upset about a stupid dent in my car door.

So, these are the thoughts that are monopolizing my time right now. Sigh ...

Where The Hell Have I Been!?!?!

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I have been a bad, bad blogger. I don't have any real excuse. Don't get me wrong, I've got excuses ... just not any good ones. I would make promises that it'll never, ever happen again, but I did that last time, and then I went off and did this 12 week(ish) hiatus. So, let's just say that I've been on hiatus. Yeah, that's it!!

The time I stopped writing is right around the time I began my new job. You remember, my new "real" job. Let's just say that it's just as soul sucking as the one I had over a year ago ... you know, the one I left because it was draining my soul. The one that drove me to go off and get a job that paid less, but didn't demand I check my values at the door. That meant that money was tight around the ol' household. We made due for almost a year, then I realized I needed to make more money or we'd be flat assed broke. So, now we aren't so broke anymore ... but having one's soul sucked out on a daily basis is exhausting as hell. I'm sure most of you are familiar with the sensation.

So, my latest trend of things to whine about has been about how different from me the people at my "real" job are. I used to go to work every single day with people who were donning facades of happiness. Those who love to shit all over the "little people" of the world. Those who strive to make a lot of money so that they can buy lots of material things for no other reason than to be able to say, "Look at what I have!!" Yeah, I used to do it every single day, and I only thought I was different than they. Now, however, after having taken a year long break and working a low paying job with "real" people, I really am a different person.

EXAMPLE: I've been car pooling with someone at my new job and one afternoon, on the way to drop her off, I had to swing by my mother's place so I could drop something off. My mother lives in an older apartment building that is mostly senior citizens. It's not run down. There aren't drug dealers in the parking lot. It's just an older brick apartment building. When I pulled up to the place, my colleague asked, "Is it safe here?"

What!?!?! Just because she doesn't live in a brand-spanking-new condo does not mean that it's not safe. Just because it's very ... "urban" ... does not mean it's not safe. Just because it doesn't fit very well into some shallow assed mind's idea of how a senior citizen should be living, does not mean shit. It taks all types of people, living all types of life styles to make up this world in which we live!!

Okay, that's only one story of about a billion that have happened since I last wrote. I've got to run to take the dogs to a vet appointment, so I have to end this now. I just had to take a few minutes to stop neglecting my blog. I will try to be more attentive to it. That is something I can promise ... to try!

So Much Going On

Alas, I have been absent for quite a spell ... again. I think my life may be settling down again. Whew!! Yesterday my body slammed on the brakes for me by hitting me with a 102* temperature. That was my only symptom. That and the chills and aches that go along with a high fever. I slept all day, between lousy Lifetime Movie Network movies, and my fever broke last night. I survived!!!

Last Sunday was my friend's wedding. The one where I was the best man. It was boring, as weddings usually are (IMHO). I gave the toast and it went okay. I mean, people laughed when they were supposed to, and the glasses got clinked. Success!! Also there was the crazy guy who took both the bride and groom by the hand and told them to "get right with Jesus" to avoid the pits of hell. No shit.

I got a job on the weekends to earn some extra cash. So I'm waiting tables again. Ugh!! Not as easy on the old bod as it used to be in my 20's. I'm pulling in some nice cash that doesn't necessarily have to be budgeted. I love "free money" ... I can spend it and not even think about it. So now I can have my daily kombucha and not worry about the fact that they're $3 a pop. If you don't know what kombucha is, it's this fermented health drink/tea that tastes a bit like vinegar, but it's so good for you. And, well, I like the taste.

Also, I scored the job that I had applied for and got that grueling second interview. I start that job on Tuesday morning. I can hardly wait to be stressed out again!! But, hey, it's got a nice salary and benefits. Plus, we can't forget the company car! With the price of gas these days, it'll definitely help. So I now have two jobs, on for paying bills and planning for retirement ... one for mad money! Like I'll have time to spend money when I never have a day off!

I guess that's it, really. It just seemed like a whole lot more while it was going on. Hmmm ... oh well, such is perception. Oh, there was also my squeezing in watching most of the speeches on the DNC ... next week it the RNC. I will watch that one too, but it'll only piss me off, I'm sure. So, let's wait until that starts and I'll probably have a few rants.

Say What?

Okay, so I had a second interview today with the company that is very similar to the one I left a year ago due to my misery and stress level. Evidently I am a glutton for punishment, seeing as how I'm re pursuing that career path. The interview went very well, or so I believe. I mean, it lasted an hour and forty minutes. It was grueling as hell! I hated sitting there trying to sell myself to a company that, ultimately, will probably lead me to have excessive levels of stress ... again.

Anyway ... after my first interview, the woman gave me a web site to visit so that I could take a personality assessment test. She told me that, if I were to get a second interview, the questions would be based on my answers on the test. Okay, thank you, bye bye. I got a call yesterday requesting I go in for a second interview, which I did ... today.

The first question they asked me (based on my personality test, I presume) was, "do you consider yourself to be type A?" The second question (no kidding) was, "if someone were to move the stapler on your desk, would you notice?" What the hell type of questions are these?? My answers to the questions were "no" and "it depends" (with an explanation on what it depends). Either way, I still am wondering, "huh?"

I should know in about a week and a half if I got the job. In the meantime, I'm going to try to figure out what they wanted me to feel about my stapler. I hope I gave the right answer. Or do I?